Real-World Speed Probe

PSI cosplay vs real users. Probe a URL, get results.

Metrics

TTFB (HTML)
Total (HTML)
HTTP / IP
Cache status
Set-Cookie on HTML
HTML size
DOM tags (approx)
Scripts (ext/inline)
Hero/LCP heuristic
Edge vs Origin (TTFB)
First CSS / IMG (TTFB)

Headers

Results

Paste a URL and hit Probe.

Stop grading vibes. We probe a URL and call BS where it counts: TTFB, cache headers, cookie bombs, DOM/script bloat, a rough LCP hint, and an edge-vs-origin sanity check. If it cheats the meter, we score it.

What it actually checks

TTFB & total time (HTML) — how long until the server coughs up bytes.

Cache status — public/max-age/s-maxage vs no-cache; also flags Set-Cookie on HTML (edge killer).

Headers — raw dump for receipts (CF/X-Cache, etc.).

HTML size — rough payload in B/KB/MB.

DOM weight — approximate tag count (a landfill warning).

Script count — external vs inline, because “just one more SDK” is how web rot happens.

LCP heuristic — looks at the first <img>: lazy-loaded without priority? We ding it. Preload? We note it.

Edge vs Origin — compare standard request vs cache-busted; big delta = edge doing work.

Asset timing (opt-in) — first CSS and first IMG TTFB for “is the critical path even reachable?”

Fake-Fast Detector Patch — Quick/Deep Mode (v2.2.0)

Headline: Speed when you want it. Depth when you need it.

What changed

Why it matters
Quick keeps you moving. Deep turns on the X-ray when it’s worth it. No ceremony, no iframes, no performance theater.

Compatibility
Plays nice with JS defer and normal CDN caching. (We keep admin-ajax uncached as always.)

How to use
Paste a URL → choose Quick or DeepProbe → copy the summary or export JSON. That’s it.

TL;DR