The AI Slop Index: Grade Any Page in 60 Seconds

Trust, then verify—then toss it if it smells like paste.

The internet is a buffet, and half the trays are gray. AI slop isn’t just bad writing; it’s templated certainty wrapped around empty calories—confident, generic, and aggressively unhelpful.

You don’t need a lab to spot it. You need a field test you can run before your coffee cools.

What This Isn’t

This Index isn’t a cop; it’s a flashlight. It helps you decide where your attention goes next. If a page can’t clear nine points without special pleading, you don’t owe it your time. Attention is not a donation—it’s a budget.

Enter the AI Slop Index: a quick, dirty score that tells you when to bounce.

What Is “AI Slop,” exactly?

Slop is synthetic coherence—the smooth, padded feel of text that knows the shape of answers but not the substance. Tell-tales:

Template cadence: the same paragraph skeletons, again.

Zero stakes: broad advice, no numbers, no names, no dates.

Hedge foam: “it depends,” “remember,” “ultimately,” “in conclusion…”

Lore over receipts: vibes where facts should be.

Humans write slop too. AI just makes it cheap and infinite.

The Five-Point Field Test (0–5 each)

Score each quickly. You’re done in under a minute.

Template Echo
Déjà vu phrasing, fill-in-the-blank headers (“What Is X? Benefits, Use Cases, Best Practices”).
0 = fresh cadence · 5 = you’ve read this page twelve times this week

Hedge Density
“Ultimately,” “as of,” “it depends,” “remember,” “in conclusion,” “may,” “could”—verbal packing peanuts per ~200 words.
0 = sparing and earned · 5 = a pillow fort of disclaimers

Faux Examples
Case studies with no proper nouns, no dates, no numbers; “For instance” that repeats the definition; stock-AI images with nowhere-specific details.
0 = receipts · 5 = smoke

Timestamp Drift
“Latest” paired with last year’s facts; models misnamed; prices stale; no changelog.
0 = anchored to time · 5 = lost in it

Link-Farm Behavior
90% internal links to the same cluster; outbound links to generic domains, affiliate mush, or SEO spam.
0 = cites primary sources · 5 = carnival of doorways

The VAX Slop Index (automatic fingerprints)

The field test is fast; the tool goes forensic. The VAX Slop Index runs nine fingerprints and spits a 0–100 score:

Repetition (bigrams that loop)

Burstiness (sentence-length variation)

Lexical diversity (type–token ratio)

Clichés (boilerplate phrases)

Hedges (might/may/could)

Passive voice hits

Buzzwords (robust/scalable/platform…)

Paragraph uniformity (factory extrusion)

Too-simple grade (when simplicity + other tells = templated)

Higher = sloppier.

0–29 green · 30–49 caution · 50–69 templated · 70+ paste

Run it: vibeaxis.com/slop-index

Images lie too. The Image Slop Index flags synthetic giveaways (nonsense text, texture repetition, impossible light) and reminds you to ask for provenance.
Try it: vibeaxis.com/image-slop-index

Run the Test (1 minute, tops)

Skim two random paragraphs mid-page and one near the end. Note hedges, cadence, and whether the “example” actually names anything.

Spot-check one claim against a primary source (release notes, docs, filings). Do time and numbers line up?

Glance at links & images. Are there receipts—or just loops and vibes?
→ Subtract 3 if you can confirm specifics with evidence on the page.

What to Do With the Number

Under 9? Read it.

9–15? Skim for useful bits; verify anything that matters.

16+? Close the tab. Life’s short. Slop is a sugar crash with plagiarism issues.

Publishing? Run your own drafts through the same index. If you creep past ~12:

Add receipts. Proper nouns, dates, screenshots, primary links.

Kill hedges. Say what you mean; delete “ultimately/in conclusion/it depends” unless they earn their keep.

Replace mush with specifics. Numbers over vibes; steps over slogans.

Update time anchors. Versions, price, last-updated.

Link upstream. Cite the source, not a regurgitated roundup.

How Creators Lower Their Score (Editor’s checklist)

Show your work. Link the doc, issue, PR, changelog, or invoice.

Pick verbs with fingerprints. “Refunded,” “shipped,” “deprecated,” “rotated keys,” “removed X from Y.”

One example, fully named. Company, date, outcome, number.

Cut the boilerplate. If a sentence could sit in any post, it shouldn’t be in yours.

Set a timer. If your draft can’t earn –3 receipts credit in ten minutes, you don’t have a post yet.

Quick FAQ

Is this anti-AI?
No. It’s anti-empty. If a model helps you make specific, sourced writing faster, great. If it pads the wordcount with foam, that’s slop.

Can human writing be slop?
Every day. Slop is a pattern, not a species.

Why subtract for receipts?
Because proof costs effort. We reward it.