VAX Apology Rewriter
Paste a corporate apology or fetch a URL. We’ll rewrite it into accountable language. No tracking.
How to use it
Paste or fetch.
Paste your text into Original.
Or drop a link and click Fetch. (We strip scripts/styles and pull the page text. Up to ~1MB, cached 10 minutes.)
Rewrite.
Click Rewrite. If your draft is under ~20 words, it’ll ask for more signal.
Copy or export.
Copy Rewrite to clipboard.
Export JSON for the nerds (metrics + flags + rewrite).
Open in VibeAxis Slop Index sends your original to the Slop Index for an external slop scan.
Edit the blanks.
We leave [bracketed placeholders] where you’re vague. Fill them. Adults use dates and verbs.
What the rewrite includes (by design)
It follows a tight spine (no AI jazz hands):
Responsibility: “We did X. That was wrong. We take responsibility.”
Impact: “Who was harmed and how.”
Remedy & prevention: “Here’s what we fixed; here’s what changes so it doesn’t repeat.”
Follow-up: “When we’ll update; where to reach us.”
If your draft dodges specifics, you’ll see blanks like [specific action], [who was harmed], [date]. Fill them or don’t call it an apology.
Signals (what we score and show)
You’ll see chips under Signals & Export:
Accountability score (0–100) — higher = more direct, fewer evasions.
Passive — “was/ were … by” hits.
Hedges /100w — might, may, could, somewhat, likely, etc.
Buzz /100w — robust, scalable, innovative, frictionless, platform, ecosystem…
Weasels — “mistakes were made,” “if anyone felt,” “committed to moving forward,” etc.
Vague timing — “soon,” “shortly,” “in the coming days/weeks.”
You can Export JSON to get the raw metrics and flags.
Deep link (autofill + autorun)
Want to prefill from another page or a bookmark?
?apology=your%20textor?text=your%20text
The tool drops it into Original and auto-clicks Rewrite.
Example:https://yoursite.com/apology-rewriter/?apology=We%20sincerely%20apologize...
Example (realistic)
Original (what you paste):
We sincerely apologize if anyone felt inconvenienced by the recent incident. Our team is working hard and we’re committed to moving forward as soon as possible.
Rewrite (what we output):
We disabled billing on Friday and overcharged some EU customers. That was on us. We take responsibility.
Impact: EU subscribers on annual plans saw duplicate charges between 09:12–10:37 CET.
Remedy: We reversed the duplicates and issued credits. Effective today, we’re adding a pre-deploy check and a rollback for the billing job.
Accountability: We’ll post a follow-up by Sept 2. If this hit you, email billing@yourco.com—we answer within 1 business day.
(If you didn’t give dates or actions, you’d see placeholders instead. Your move.)
Notes & limits
- Needs ~20+ words to analyze.
- URL fetch: SSRF-guarded host resolution, public IPs only, 10 req / 60s / IP, 10-minute per-URL cache.
- Slop Index button passes your original text to
slop=. Use it to sanity-check your PR tone.
Why use this instead of a “friendly AI”?
Because this won’t cosplay empathy while dodging facts. It cuts hedges, kills passive voice, and leaves blanks where your accountability should be. That’s the point.